I was raised a military brat. Deployments have always been a part of my life. You'd think after 34 years I'd be used to them and have it down to a science by now. In many ways, I am and I do. I know it's something I don't have a choice in, and I suck it up and deal like a good Navy wife. I could bitch and whine, piss and moan about it, but that would only serve to bring me down more. I keep busy with work, running, working out, reading, watching too much TV, etc. What I didn't bank on though was falling more in love with the man every passing day. That Brad Paisley song, 'Then', is very fitting...I thought I loved you then. Now when he's gone, such a large chunk of me is missing. Everything truly is better with him...waking up, going to sleep, cooking, doing laundry, watching our shows, working out. I do all those things anyway when he's gone, but it's not just quite the same. Ignorance is bliss sometimes and I'd gladly be a 19 year old newlywed, half way around the world from my family, who gave birth a week after the boat pulled out on cruise.
Communication has definitely come a long way! My grandmother, who was a career Army wife(my granddaddy was in WWII, Korea and Vietnam) told me once that during one of my granddaddy's tours in Vietnam, she got ONE phone call. And to think, some of my current counterparts bitch because they haven't gotten an email in a day or two. I'd venture to guess that some of the newer generation of military wives wouldn't have been able to hack it back then. Even since Bill and I have been together, it's come a long way. I remember writing him every day-at least once, sometimes more if something newsworthy happened. I remember the trek to the mail box, every day to send his letter off and hope against hope to open my mail box and see an envelope with his writing and the words FREE where the stamp should be. Talk about feeling like a lottery winner when your eyes spied that much coveted prize! And reading them over and over again. I still have every letter the man has ever written me, as well as all his emails saved-and I admit to sometimes rereading them still(though it's been a long time since I dug the hand written letters out of their box).
I do admit to liking the technology though. I love the instant communication of being able to IM on Yahoo with the man. And Skype is awesome-being able to hear his voice(and not just when it involved a drunken port call...lol) is wonderful and, being able to see him and his pornstache...lol. And it's even better since all those things are available on my Blackberry-no more missing the drunken port call because I had to go grocery shopping...lol. I just have to remember to keep myself in check and not let myself get worked up if I don't hear from him for a bit-he is after all, out there to work and that does demand long hours at times, and while I don't want to miss out on hearing from him, I have to not be selfish and remember that he does have to sleep and stay fresh to do his job. I think sometimes, some of the younger wives, who have only ever known deployments with technology forget that and get all spooled up sometimes. It's easy for all of us to do, but I try to keep it in check-and think I generally succeed. On the days I don't, that's when a wonderful bitch session/run with a friend does wonders for my mood...lol.
I feel funny when people thank me for being a military wife. To me, I'm not doing anything other than living the life I've always known. I'm not the one missing out on things...I didn't miss my only child being born, I didn't miss taking him on his first drive and everything in between. I don't miss sleeping in my own my bed. I don't work really long hours, on little sleep. I can have a beer whenever I want. I get all the comforts of home, all the time(well, except the one I really want, but I won't nitpick...lol).
One benefit of being married to a military man...uniforms! Who doesn't love a man in uniform? Even back in the day, he looked good in his dungarees. I do have to say, he looks pretty damn snazzy in his choker whites. Growing up around aviation, I'm also partial to him in his flight suit. The new NWUs(blue digicami for you non-Navy types) also do good things-emphasizes his manliness when the sleeves are rolled up and tight around his arms. However, my favorite uniform is the one crumpled up in a pile next to my bed;)
We've done a variety of deployment types and lengths. We've survived 6 months cruises, and all the work ups leading up to them. More recently though, by virtue of what he does and what he works on, we are blessed to generally only be apart 2.5 months or so, and he's land based so he can take his laptop with him. The downfall is that those come more frequently, and we often spend more time apart overall over the course of the year. Both types of deployments have their pluses and minuses, and it's all in what you choose to focus on. Me, I'm an optimist and I strive to just look at the bright side. I don't always succeed and have shitty days(and weeks, and entire deployments sometimes) now and then. I try to remember, someone always has it tougher(refer back to grandma and one phone call during Vietnam)-and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Doesn't matter though, if he's gone for 6 days, 6 weeks or 6 months...I miss him immensely and look forward to that first kiss every time.
Anyway, the point of all this is...I love and miss the man and can't wait to see him again.
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