A Young Navy Wife

Life as a Navy Wife-part one

Yep, I was once one of those young girls I look at now and can't possibly believe is old enough to drive, much less be married-and having a baby. As they are now, I was oblivious to those looks from the older wives though I'm sure they looked at me with shock and disbelief. I firmly believe that my life as a Navy Brat gave me a huge advantage when I married a sailor. I knew what I was getting into, and I did it anyway-if that ain't love, I don't know what is. In some ways though, it was also a curse-I knew more than I should as a wife because I was so immersed in it for so many years-so much so that over the years, I've had more than one person ask me how long I was in, what my rate was-and as of late, when I retired...lol. I knew all too well what could happen in the world of Naval Aviation. I take the Scarlett O'Hara approach...I won't think about it today, I'll think about it tomorrow. I know myself well enough that I know if I let myself think about it, I'll over think it and worry myself excessively.

I consider myself an old school Navy wife. I remember the days of dungarees and snail mail. Hell, soon Johnny Cash's and 'utilities' will be a thing of the past too, all any of them will know is NWUs(aquaflague) and the 'black and tans'; and life with email and skype births. I remember being in a squadron Wives Club...yep, we didn't have to be PC and refer to it at the Spouses Group as we really were a Wives Club-the squadron was still al male as the carriers weren't all outfitted for women yet. More on the Wives Club in a bit, though.

A bit of background for those who don't know...I first met Bill when I was 15 and he was 19. He was a newly arrived airman at his first duty station, VQ-5 at NAS Agana Guam. I still remember the first time I saw him...he was playing softball(and I would spend a good portion of the next almost 20 years watching him on the softball field). He was a friend of family and we just sorta hung out when he was around. 2.5 years later we got together when he was leaving for cruise on board the USS Carl Vinson. I was dating another sailor at the time, but all thought of him went out of my head after Bill became a part of it. Upon returning from cruise, I immediately got pregnant with Brice. Boy oh boy did I have a pissed off recruiter when we went and told him I was pregnant...lol.

Like many young couples, we had a quickie wedding ceremony as he had orders to FL. So a few short months after graduating high school, I was married and on my way halfway around the world. We arrived in Jacksonville and he went to school for a few months and then checked into his new squadron, VS-24 and promptly began work ups. 12 on/12 off were short days and they were working 7 days a week prepping for cruise. They pulled out on board the USS Theodore Roosevelt 1 week before Brice was born. Yep, I have a true cruise baby...conceived one week after the man came home from a West Pac, and born one week after he left on a Med Cruise. Want to talk about tears being shed...leave a 9 month pregnant woman standing on a pier(ok, outside the flight line since they had to fly to meet the boat in VA...lol).

The squadron wives club definitely helped pass the time. They brought me flowers in the hospital after I had Brice, and I spent a good portion of the next 6 months with various members of the group. It was because of the wives club president that Bill found out Brice was born. The Red Cross never sent the message(refer above where I mentioned the current trend of Skype births), and her husband just happened to call her that night and she told him to tell Bill what a wonderful job he did and his son was beautiful. So Bill found out about Brice when some guy he didn't even know clapped him on the shoulder and said 'congrats man'...Bill asked 'congrats for what'...the guy said 'your son'...Bill was like 'my what??'.

We did monthly get togethers, both family friendly and wives night out. Brice was the most spoiled, loved baby around. In addition to the formal club gatherings, I made some friends in the club that I hung out with quite a bit. One was a woman in her 30s with 3 kids that I became good friends with, Laurie Byers. Summer came up pretty quick after the guys left on cruise, so the kids were pretty free to play and stay up late, so we did the same. We'd stay up late talking, playing cards, etc. We played A LOT of Spades that cruise. Throughout the cruise, we did the various club activities to help pass the time. We sent the countdown chain out to the boat. We had our Hump Day picnic to celebrate, made a flag out of a bed sheet and the red stripes were the wives hand prints, and the blue field were the kids hand prints-Brice was so little we did his foot print.

Another thing from that time is snail mail. You know, that thing we all usually send out at Christmas time that is becoming a lost art. It was our only means of communication. Well, I take that back, we thought we were the shit cause we had just gotten phones on the boat...$10 for a 10 minute calling card. Of course, let us not forget the occasional drunken port call...lol. Back to the snail mail though. It was a long time between letters. I trekked to the mail box every single day, hoping against hope to see an envelope with Bill's hand writing on it, and the word FREE in place of the stamp. Talk about feeling like a lottery winner when there was one in there! And those letters were read, and re-read so many times. I still have every single letter he has ever written me. The wives these days don't know how good they have it, with immediate access via email, instant messaging and things like Skype. For many of them, that is the only Navy they've ever known, and they damn near have a coronary when they go a day or two without an email.

While it would of course have been ideal to have Bill home when Brice was born, I can say that almost 16 years later, none of us any worse for the wear. It was a wonderful feeling though, handing Brice to Bill the first time. He just held him up and looked at him. Once home, he jumped right into his role as a dad and did a fantastic job.

The early years were an experience(as I'm sure any marriage is, but the Navy just throws a different twist on it), and of course, the deck was stacked against us and more than one person said we wouldn't last. But we survived those years together and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I think they showed us that we can weather just about anything...including a quickie wedding, a baby, another cruise right away, etc. as long as we're together(well as together as the Navy lets us be...lol).