Friends

I am very thankful I have friends. I have a few very close friends that are like family to me. One of the things I love most about them is that they have my back. And I don't just mean they'll back me up in a bar fight should we ever be in that situation-which I'm sure they would(they may want to kick my ass later for getting us in the situtation, but they'll back me up-and we'll have a good story to tell later). They'll tell me if I have TP stuck to my shoe, or if my slip is showing(or if I need to wear a slip...lol). They'll tell me to take my ass back in the house and get rid of the VPL(visible panty lines for those who don't know) before they're seen in public with me. They will tell me if the dress I'm trying on makes me butt look like two pigs fighting under a blanket(bonus points if you know what movie that's from).

I am very sad however for those people who don't have true friends. You run across these people in every day life, and it should be fairly easy to spot them.

It might be one of the two people at my last race...the first of which had VPL in spandex. Now, I know you may be thinking, she's there running, she's not trying to look sexy, but I still think it looks tacky. Plus, nine times out of ten, until I can pass them(or heaven forbid, I'm on the treadmill behind them and have no where to go), they'll spend the duration of their run picking them out of their butt. I got two words for ya...go commando. And the other person was also spandex related. Again, I know it's exercise and running, but there still should be some standards. It's very stretchy and giving. I won't go into spandex is a privilege, not a right; but if the black spandex is stretched so far as you see lighter areas that can only be assumed to be skin...then it's time for some new ones.

Or, it might be like the woman I saw out tonight. Butt cleavage and muffin top. Again, like the spandex, 2 separate issues to address. I understand that low rise is in, and truthfully I do find it not only more flattering than the high waisted 80s jeans, but also more comfortable. However, unless you are one of the women we see airbrushed in Us magazine or Playboy, dress to accent your better features, and hide your trouble spots. It's ok, we all have them. So if you insist on wearing low rise, then make sure they fit. Nothing is less attractive than a muffin top. And if you do have one, at least wear a long enough shirt so we don't have to see it. And if you are wearing low rise jeans with a shorter shirt, if you insist on bending over to pick up your child I'd much rather see some granny panties than about 4 inches of your butt crack.

So to my dear friends who love me enough to not let me embarrass myself(or them...lol) in public, thank you.