Family is...

I know that family isn't just the people you got stuck with by virtue of birth and marriage.  That's a crap shoot.  Sometimes, you win in it. Sometimes, you get people who you wouldn't bother with if you weren't forced together throughout life. 

Out of circumstance and necessity, by virtue of being from a military family and then marrying a man in the military, I have a whole other kind of family.  The best part about them is that they're all people I picked(and who thankfully picked me in return), so I truly like them-and daresay in many instances am closer to them than what many people deem the traditional kind of family.

My mom packed up and left the Philippines when she was 19 and came to a strange country to marry my daddy, as an Air Force wife.  A few years later after daddy was out of the AF, she joined the Navy.  Carrying on what is more or less the family business if you will, on both sides.  Both grandfathers were military, all my parents siblings, etc.  So my traditional family was flung far and wide, and presumably forming their own families as well. 

In the absence of a built in support system that some people may enjoy by close physical proximity to their traditional family, I formed my own support system and family through the years.

The one I've known the longest is Angie(and by extension her hubby Dave, and their offspring, Charlotte, Matt, and Andrew).  We met in Guam when I was just a kid, Angie is about 10 years older than me and has always been a sounding board, and voice of reason for me.  She is like the older sister or cousin who can be the calming voice in your tumultuous times(whether you're having a crisis when you're 14, or 34). We were stationed together twice-and by luck of the draw, wound up in housing together twice, once right next door.  We also bought houses in the same neighborhood for post-Navy life. 

Thanks to Angie, I got a Jojo too(and Shawn...someone has to tote and drive).  Jojo is thoughtful and always on your side and you're hard pressed to find someone more loyal to you.  And she's an awesome baker...let me tell what a burden it is to be a cheesecake tester when she was trying new flavor combos, or the sacrifice involved in taking one for the team and 'disposing' of a cracked cheesecake that she can't possibly sell). 

Mike and Becky.  Mike worked with Bill years ago-and they butted heads.  They finally came to a mutual work respect, and eventually became great friends.  Beck and I became great friends in the process too...and thanks to a quilt, they too are here where we retired lol. 

Rob.  Aahhh my other husband.  He's the product of the Chief brotherhood.  Bill was his sponsor when Rob was selected for Chief.  They were definitely paired up for reasons...they're very much alike-one time I was texting them both about the same thing, they were in separate places and texting me back the almost exact same answers.  Though I refer to him as my other husband from his stand in duties at times when Bill was deployed, he's like a brother to me(to both of us).  I can text or call him up just to say hey, to bitch, etc.  I love the bond that Chief's Mess creates, there's a reason they call each other brother/sister....they are that(and Dave and Shawn are both Chiefs as well and I know all of them would bend over backwards for any of us, partly because of that Chief bond).

In addition to/in conjunction with the people I have been blessed to have through the Navy...there's another culture I'm blessed to be part of.  Runners. 

Jes and Beth.  I group them together cause they are Sole Sisters(much like me and Roxanne).  It's a running bond.  Something that non-runners don't get.  There's something formed when you've spent hours in a car driving to a race(or races, like you know, back to back marathons in a single weekend), or spending 36 hours straight running multiple times, through the night, sleeping in fields, etc.  The support eventually extends off the race course as well.  Having a crappy weekend cause I was spending my birthday, on a gorgeous day no less, inside in class all day, they tracked down where I was and had flowers delivered to me for my birthday.  You don't do stuff like that for people you don't love.

Nikki(and Isla, and Maya too)....Nikki is another crossover of my two worlds, met through Becky.  She's another runner who is also married to a Navy man.  Again, that bond from spending 36 hours in a van, running, sleeping in fields(I apparently patted her head all night).  Maya is her black lab, and my adopted girl dog-she's come to stay when Nikki and Michael were away.  I tend to like dogs more than many people, so when I go over, I fling myself on the ground as soon as I cross the threshold and Maya comes running.  Isla is Nikki's darling daughter whom, with permission, I have claimed as my niece.  I can shop for baby clothes and toys, make her quilts, buy her books, and when the time comes, make her a wand for when she goes to Hogwarts; and buy her a knife when she turns 13 cause every young woman should always have a knife.  I get early morning happy baby texts with pictures. She's a cutie patootie and makes me smile!

And to springboard off Isla....the kids of many of the aforementioned people.  While I do have 3 siblings, I was raised as an only child for 16 years(2 older half siblings I didn't meet till we were adults, plus a sister that is 16 years younger).  Being an only child means no nieces and nephews(but yes, I do have a niece and twin nephews from them).  Like I said, I claimed Isla.  I first got to be Aunt Dawn(or Aunt Dizzle as I get called now by some of them lol) 20+ yrs ago with Charlotte(who has since transitioned into a grownup friend too...and by I also got a Bailey Jean in the process....Bailey Jean and I are kindred spirits).  Charlotte, Matt, Andrew, Travis, Nick,  Rachel, Alex, my Twinkies Nathan and Katelyn(oh the uproar on FB when I said I was going to babysit them hahahah), baby Isla being the newest.  


I also am lucky with the aforementioned half siblings.  We discovered each other as adults.  We don't have bad memories of not sharing, beating each other up, etc.  We are friends because we WANT to be.  I text my sister Michelle quite frequently, and we(along with our husbands) have vacationed together.  I got a text on my birthday from my brother's daughter, my niece Zoe, telling me 'Happy Birthday Aunt Dawn'-gave me a big smile!. 

And lest you think oh she hates all her family, on the contrary, I actually get along pretty well with them.  I think by virtue of all of them being military, they all know that physical proximity does not always equate a relationship and the quality of it. 

This list is far from all encompassing, Rosa, Nikki, Holly and Eric, Cara, Belle and family, Danielle, Hope and Rik, and many many more.  Those are people who are there for me and us, and have shared many memories, and been a support, sounding board, friend, shoulder, etc. when needed. 

I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful family.